Purposeful Social Selling

Us vs. Them Ep #101

Apr 4, 2022

It’s come to Kristen’s attention that there are members of the network marketing community who believe that hustle equals anything that looks like hard work. Or anything that feels uncomfortable. 

And sometimes people can be so afraid of committing hustle that they avoid certain tasks because they feel spammy or salesy. But none of that equals the true definition of hustle. Hustle comes about when you stop serving your audience and start serving yourself.

Listen in on this week’s episode where Kristen explains what hustle really is, how to avoid it, and how to create sustainable growth. Here are a few highlights you won’t want to miss:

  • The phases of growth in network marketing and why there’s more work to be done on the front end
  • The important distinction between approaching your audience from a place of abundance vs. a place of lack
  • How being in a place of low belief can lead to hustle and burnout
  • Why you might be using hustle as an excuse to not do the hard things

The stories you tell yourself about what hustle means to you can affect your business just as much as hustle itself. Learning to lean into the uncomfortable and hard things from a place of service can lead you to healthy and sustainable growth. 

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

If you’d like to join the launch party for Kristen’s new book, Pivot to Purpose: Leaving the Toxic Hustle Culture Behind,  you can click here to join the list and pre-order your copy today.

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://Kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

Transcript for Episode #101 Us vs Them:

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industries. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:48):  Hey bosses. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This week, I’ve got a pretty awesome conversation and actually a necessary conversation that we’re going to have today. Cause I’m seeing something happen out there that we’re going to talk about that I don’t think is serving you, your teams, your company, the industry as a whole. So we’re going to clear it up today. We are going to get right down to the bottom of it. Before I do that, I just want to say it is the start of quarter two of the year 2022. Our first 90 days are behind us for the year. And I want to invite you if you haven’t already decided to join the Social Selling Academy. It is not too late. If you’re thinking no, I have to start on the quarter on day one in order for me to be a part of the 90 day Goal Getter challenge inside the academy, my friend, we have built the academy to grow with you.

Kristen Boss (01:38):  And so that you can start the day you say yes to yourself. You don’t have, have to wait until the next round to decide that you are worth the growth you are worth the momentum. And I will tell you right now, we have people that start go-getter challenges, you know, on February 11th on a random Friday on at, you know, at noon. And I want to invite you to break the cycle of waiting for Monday, waiting for the, for of the month, the first of the year, the next quarter start now start today. You matter telling yourself that you’re behind that you’ve missed your chance. That is just a crutch you’ve been leaning on to not take action. And today I’m inviting you in to doing the bold, brave thing. Listen, if you’re one of my most dedicated listener and you’re chomping at the bit each week to listen to a podcast, but you haven’t quite given yourself permission to join the academy.

Kristen Boss (02:31):  I’m talking to you today, friend, today is your day in the academy. We give you all the systems, all the tools, the processes, we even have an amazing Ask a Coach support tool. I don’t talk about this much on the podcast, but it is well, one of our best features in the academy. I have a team of certified support coaches certified in our processes, our systems, and what I teach in the methodology that we teach inside the academy. And when our students have a question, when they are working through something in their business, we have this amazing portal where they, they email into one of our support coaches, their question, and then one of our support coaches reaches back out to them and gives them the coaching and helps guide them to their next steps. So they stay in momentum. It is seriously one of the most valuable resources we have in the academy, it’s available 24/7.

Kristen Boss (03:17):  It’s like a coach in your back pocket. It is insane. So if you’re already like, oh no, it’s, you know, April 4th. And I can’t, I can’t, you know, start the Goal Getter challenge today. No friend, you can start it right now in the academy, we give you the onboarding process. We break it down very simply so that you always know what your next steps are and we help you stay in momentum. Even while you are learning new things. We get you out of the learning before doing mode and we get you into the learning as you do mode. So if you are ready, if you want to join us and be a part of a phenomenal community of more than 3,600 social sellers who are committed to playing the long game, committed to doing intentional focused and purposeful work and working from service, you belong there.

Kristen Boss (04:01):  So head over to socialsellingacademy.com and you’re going to want to join us and be a part of the next 90 day challenge. All right, without further ado, I want to kind of share what I’ve been up to and what’s kind of coming down the pipeline for you guys. So I actually just wrapped up my six and seven, your live mastermind event here in Colorado Springs. And let me just tell you, you better watch you better watch what these women are going to be doing in the next six months. I know a lot of you are watching them. I know a lot of you are on the sidelines and you’re waiting and seeing what they are producing inside of the mastermind. Many of them who came back for the next round, my alumni, it is insane. The momentum they are positioned to have in round two, because of all the work they did in round one. They cleaned up their systems.

Kristen Boss (04:55):  They rebuilt the culture on their teams. They really tapped into their leadership. They now know how to coach. They are all positioned for massive growth in round two. Round one people that came, they were so fortunate to step into a room where the alumni had created such a high level experience because the alumni really went to work in their first round. They worked hard. They implemented really fast. They stayed with high value thinking. They got coaching. And so the new people that stepped into it, they stepped into such a high level room. And it was so funny at the event. Like we really spoil our masterminds. We want them to feel, we give them a five star experience. We were going to be at the four seasons in Chicago, but just with COVID restrictions and mandates at the time we had to move it to Colorado just so that it was available for more people.

Kristen Boss (05:44):  You know, because with vaccines and you know. What do I call it? Body autonomy is really important for me and for my people. So I just made the decision to move it to Colorado at a beautiful mountain resort, actually in my backyard. So it was really fun. Seeing the masterminds like hit up my favorite eateries and watching them create lifelong friendships. It’s the coolest thing. And then we’re actually, for those of you who are already thinking about joining the next six and seven figure mastermind, the next round applications are going to be end of July, beginning of August. You’re going to want to be on the wait list. We’ll be sure to drop that in the show notes, but we are going to be in Chicago at the Four Seasons. We are anticipating there are not going to be any mandates. So you don’t have to worry about those things.

Kristen Boss (06:28):  It’s going to be a three day live event instead of a two day live event. You’re going to want to be there. The dates are October 5th to the 8th. So be, be ready to make your decision now. Be having the conversation with your spouse, be having the conversation with your team, be having that conversation with yourself. So the time when the time comes for applications, you are ready to rock and roll. It is the most elevated room in the network marketing industry. We had more than 11 companies represented this time, but I think total out of the three rounds of the master, and I think total we’ve had more than 20 companies come to the mastermind. And what is so unique about that room is all of these women who are high performers and committed, and many of them have gone through the academy and saw really phenomenal results.

Kristen Boss (07:12):  And they were ready to take their business to the next level. And they will tell you, there is no room like it. And they’re able to have such high level conversations with people and other companies in service to one another, not in competition. No, one’s trying no, one’s, you know, talking down about anybody’s company. It is so collaborative. In fact, many of them went out. I always tell them to stand extra day after the event. So they have time like downtime to really think and process through all the material they were given. They are given multiple workbooks. It’s intense. Over the two days you were given strategy, you were given mindset and you were turned into a coach. And we had people come from all over the world to the mastermind we had. One of our members came from Singapore. We had someone come from Hawaii.

Kristen Boss (07:57):  We had people come from Canada and all over the country. And so it is global with people coming to the mastermind and it was just so extraordinary. But what was so fun was at the end of the event, the event I just saw new friendships, new relationships being formed. The alumni, you know, they don’t, because they’re not in the same company, they don’t see each other at team retreats or things. So they look forward to seeing each other once six months and spending time together. So it was just really fun. Watching all these women build lifelong friendships. Cause that’s what I have in my mastermind and that they went out and you know, they were like, you know what? There there’s nowhere else that we have these conversations. Where else are we going to be able to talk to people who think like this now?

Kristen Boss (08:37):  We are so different. And so it was a pretty extraordinary thing. Just watching how much growth was so obvious for the alumni and watching hope in the eyes of our new people that came where they were like, I know I finally know where I’m going. It’s so clear. The confusion is gone. My steps ahead of me are so clear. And one of our newest members said this. She said she actually encouraged her friend to get in there. And she told her friend, she’s like, Hey, you’re in momentum. You need to come now before you have problems, before your systems are not working, get here while you are in growth. So there is less to clean up so that you can have faster momentum when you get here. So I want to say that to you if you’re like, if you’re like, I’m, I’m good.

Kristen Boss (09:21):  My team’s good. We’re having momentum. That’s exactly why you need to be in the mastermind because you want to keep the momentum and you need systems in place to scale sustainably without you burning out a year from now. It’s not just, you know, and we, we tend to think that or ego tends to tell us like, when things are good, we don’t need help. We don’t need a mentor. We don’t need to be in a room with elevated conversations. And I’m going to actually tell you, like, that’s the time you most need it because why would you not want a mentor to help preserve your momentum, to help accelerate your momentum, to help continue your growth? Because if you don’t, what ends up happening is there’s a lot of clean up that has to happen before you end up going into momentum and scaling again. So it was just super fun with a couple of our new members, a couple of them were there, like they didn’t have as much cleanup to do so for them, they’re like, oh man, I’m ready to rock and roll.

Kristen Boss (10:09):  I’m ready to see momentum this round. It’s going to be amazing. So it was really fun to see people that were coming in that didn’t didn’t feel like they had to do a ton of cleanup. It didn’t feel like what I’ve been calling. It is like a triage situation. And I’ve been thinking about that. I’ve been thinking like, how can we get people in this room before we have a triage on our hands before they feel like they have to clean up before they have to feel like they have to heal and, you know, recover and do you know, a lot of that cleanup and healing and that’s necessary and there’s always clean up to do, but you know, the longer you let your business go unsupervised and with low value thinking and with low-value decisions, the more it’s going to compound into problems later that you will be forced to slow down and you will have to address.

Kristen Boss (10:50):  So I just kind of wanted to share with you like how powerful the weekend was and how amazing it was to be in a room filled with, you know leaders who are truly going to be the pioneers in their company. And what’s so fun is we’ve had this thing called the ripple up effect. And many of the leaders in there are now being consulted by their corporate offices because their corporate headquarters are seeing how their teams are different, how their leadership is different. So they’re actually, the leaders in the mastermind are influencing what corporate is seeing, what corporate is doing. It’s pretty phenomenal. It’s amazing. So just wanted to kind of get you thinking about that. Cause I know there are many of you that listen every week and you’re telling yourself next round, next time, maybe I don’t need it. Friend, you do.

Kristen Boss (11:35):  You’re going to be hearing from more of them as we go on through this round in the mastermind, you’re going to hear their stories. You’re going to hear their transformation. You’re going to hear some pretty amazing things coming outta that room. So keep your eyes open. One of the things we talked about at the mastermind event that I’m going to talk about now is this concept of us versus them. And you’re like, well, who’s us. And who’s them? I think often time people might hear like, oh, us is the network marketers and them are the non-network marketers. No, what I’m actually talking about today, that could be a whole another episode, but I’m going to talk about us versus them within the network marketing companies, within the industry, within teams. It’s not just company on company or, you know and I think you might be thinking that as well, but it’s actually this concept, there’s this movement of like, or this conversation of people that are like anti anti-hustle, which I find is funny and hilarious, cause then I’d be like, so your anti anti hard work because anti hustle’s all about hard work.

Kristen Boss (12:39):  It’s all about working with intention and focus and discipline while also creating room for margin and having healthy rest and boundaries. You still have momentum. You still get results, but you’re working from a different place. And I think there’s that, there’s that misconception. And I think what happens is people have this idea of what hustle means and I’ve talked about it a lot. And I think what happens is there are those that misunderstand that hustle is work. It’s the activity, it’s what you’re doing in your business. And so when people hear in other leaders in companies might hear anti-US and they hear their team saying, well, I’m anti-US unless they have a full understanding of what that means, then the leader might think, oh, they don’t want to work. They don’t want to put in the time that it takes to build a business and to grow a business.

Kristen Boss (13:32):  And that is not true at all. So I just want, I want you to like kind of sit with yourself and ask yourself some questions today. Like have you been saying I’m anti hustle as an excuse to get out of doing the necessary work, to grow an online business? Because anti hustle is not like anti work. It is a way of how you show up in your work. It is, is the energy in which you show up to your work. It’s the mindset with how you show up to your work. So of course, if I were an upline, if I were a leader in a company and I heard my team saying I’m anti-hustle and everyone stopped working and instead we’re waiting for their results to come to them, I probably would be anti anti hustle too. I’d be like, what is going on?

Kristen Boss (14:17):  No one wants to work. No one wants to put in the time. And friends, you know, like in the network marketing industry, you’re not trading your time for dollars. You do have to put in more time on the front end. And I’ve talked about the phases of network marketing and the phases of growth in network marketing. Like in the beginning, you’re putting in more time and getting less back. And then next phase you’re getting about the same, you know, the amount of effort you put in and the pay you get back it’s, you know, you feel like you’re breaking even. And then when you are scaled and you are into leveraged income and residual income, you’re working less and making a lot more. But a lot of people want to rush to the residual income. They want to get there fast. And in my mind, I’m like, no, you got to play like the three to five year game to get to that place.

Kristen Boss (15:02):  But everyone wants to get there today, overnight. And I, that is like the true, you know, embodiment of hustle is I have to get there faster at no matter the cost to myself, to others, to my health, to my family. That’s what we’re talking about. It’s the mindset of like, I have to get there as fast as I can from this place of lack and urgency and scarcity. Now with this concept. And what’s, what’s interesting is since we’ve started to talking about, you know, hustle, and, and if you’ve noticed just over probably the past year, I’ve been talking less about hustle and more just about sustainability and longevity and how sometimes I think hustle gets in the way of that because it does create burnout. And so what I want to invite you into is if you, you know, would call yourself like I’m anti hustle, are you still putting in the focused, intentional work or are you sitting back and waiting for your results to come to you?

Kristen Boss (16:03):  Because that is not what the work is here. You still have to put in the time, you still have to do hard and scary and uncomfortable. And I’ve noticed this and I’ve, and I’ve, and I’ve coached on this a few times. And I talk about this a lot, but I tell people I’m like, you know, when there’s an activity that feels uncomfortable, like making a post or making an offer to somebody like, Hey, I think this would really serve you. Would you have interest in this? A lot of people think just that conversation, they just kind of associate hustling with selling. So they stop selling. They stop making offers. They stop telling people like, Hey, I really believe this would help you. And I’d love to serve you. They’ve labeled the activity as hustle. And so they stop talking to people. They stop asking questions.

Kristen Boss (16:50):  They stop serving because they’ve labeled all activity as like, well, if it’s spammy, it’s hustly. And if it’s messaging, that’s hustly and I’m like, no, you still have to connect. You still have to add value to others. You still have to be in the conversation. You still have to be brave and bold and do those things. But from a place of abundance, from a place of like not needing something from everyone. That is when we’re in a place of lack is when we come to every conversation with like, I need this sale. I need them to say, yes, I need this so that I can hit my bonus so that I can hit my rank. And we come to the conversation, very me focused and how I can I meet my needs instead of how can I meet their needs? How can I detach myself from the outcome?

Kristen Boss (17:33):  And how can I just serve them where they’re at, when we’re in lack, we are in hustle in our mindset of like, I, I need this. It has to go faster. And when we’re in low belief, we tend to overwork to fix the belief. When we think, when we start to believe it’s not going to happen for me, we throw ourselves into a flurry of activity to make up. It’s like, we’re trying to outwork our low belief instead of really sitting with believing that our results are still possible. That is when hustle kind of comes into the game is I really believe it’s when we stop believing in the inevitabilities of our goals. And we believe we have to rush or compromise to get there. We have to compromise in our sleep or negotiate with ourselves. Now, is there a time and I’m not going to even call it hustle.

Kristen Boss (18:21):  Is there a time in your business for a strategic push where you might be putting in more hours than normal? Yes, that’s appropriate occasionally, but if it’s your way of life, then we got to check in with ourselves and we have to ask ourselves can I, can I do this long term? Can I do this over the next five years? And also is this duplicatable are people that come to my organization. Are they watching how I work? And are they thinking I can’t do that or worse. I don’t want to do that. If you are working yourself to the bone and someone comes to your organization and you’re talking about your amazing income, but they see that you are online in the DMs till midnight, one in the morning. And then back on the DMs at seven in the morning, in their mind, they’re thinking, oh my gosh, in order for me to get there, I have to work 24/7.

Kristen Boss (19:12):  I don’t want that. And I thought you told me I could do this part-time and I thought, you told me time, freedom. This doesn’t look like time, freedom. And that’s what happens. I see people do that, but here’s the thing. 80% of people who work in network marketing work it part-time, they work it around other parts of their life. So you actually have to of them, you can do this work strategically in parts of time. In your day. If you work with intention, if you work with focus one hour, a day, you will get results. But if, if your words do not match your actions. So if you’re like time, freedom and you know, all this stuff and yay the lifestyle you want, but you’re burning the midnight oil all the time. And you’re telling, and that’s what you’re selling. Then of course people are going to be like, well, I guess the money looks good, but the how looks awful.

Kristen Boss (20:01):  Like you want people are attracted to the how of making money as much as they are the amount of money they make. Like the, how is what’s attractive to people? In fact someone was telling me it was, it was so crazy. One of my mastermind members I’m going to have her on because it was such an awesome story. She worked so hard on her system. So hard on her leadership and on her team. And she went on a vacation for two weeks. She was totally checked out, unplugged, loving her life, being with her family and her team exploded while she was completely gone and unplugged. And that is appealing to people being like, wait, hold on. What you make money while you’re resting? That is attractive. That looks good. So I just feel like I wanted to kind of really dig in there and help you see the differences and the nuances.

Kristen Boss (20:50):  And like, if you’re using anti hustle as an excuse, to check out as an excuse, to not do the hard things. Because even if you work with focus and intention and boundaries and all those things, you still have to do the hard things. You still have to do things that are uncomfortable. Things where your brain is going to tell you, like, you know, I think that’s really spammy or maybe that’s in service to yourself, but you have to learn to manage those stories. But instead, instead of people managing their stories, they instead stop the activity. They stop doing the work because they believe the story. They believe the story I’m being salesy. I I’m, self-serving I’m wrong. I’m doing it wrong. So they stopped the activity instead of exploring the story and thinking, how might that not be true? How can I do this from service?

Kristen Boss (21:36):  How can I do this from love? How can I do this from abundance and detaching from the in outcome, and then still carry through with the activity. And this is what so many of the Social Selling Academy members do. They learn this work. And it’s so fun. At the end of the month, we have people telling us like, yeah, I hit my rank with like three days left in the month and it was chill and it was calm. Like they don’t know what to do with themselves. They’re like, I can’t believe I can rank advance and experience it in this way, because they’ve learned to cut the noise. They’ve learned to cut the fluff. They’ve learned to, like, they’ve learned to, to take out all the things that don’t make the money and only do the activities that make the money. And it really doesn’t take you long.

Kristen Boss (22:13):  Like we, we want to tell ourselves, oh my gosh, it’s going to take so long. No, it doesn’t. Do you know what it takes a long time? Is you having drama and in your head because you’re telling yourself stories and then you’re going and watching Netflix instead of doing work because you’re afraid. Because you’re uncomfortable and procrastinating then buffering. Like, that’s what takes the time. Like the activity itself doesn’t take long. Think about it. How long does it actually take to write a post if you don’t have mental drama? The only reason a post takes a long time is when you’re telling yourself this sucks, no one wants to read it. It has to be good. It has to be A plus work. It has to be attractive. I have to make sure I get customers from this post. That is when one P host takes you an hour.

Kristen Boss (22:50):  And in your mind, you’re thinking, oh my gosh, this work is so long. It takes so much of my day. The work is not what takes up massive amounts of time in your day. It’s your brain. It’s your stories. This is the work we teach in the academy. We’re like, as soon as we can clear out the stories, the work gets easy. The work is fun. The work is simple. So I feel like as you know that, okay. But here’s what I want to say. When I see people in that, in the anti hustle and wanting to work sustainably and like, and they want to focus differently and they want to work differently. What I see happening is there tends to be judgment for people who still want to work, who, who are working it in ways that you might be familiar with. Like, and I don’t even want to call it the hustley ways, cause I just think it’s unfair and judgemental to say that of them.

Kristen Boss (23:35):  But to say who are working maybe in the ways that they were taught, maybe they are, you know, putting a lot of hours in and like we tend to be judgemental. And, and this is the conversation I hear. I hear people say like, well that my sidelines or in that group chat, they’re just so hustly. They’re so hustly over there. And then there’s just so much judgment that you kind of isolate them and you make them wrong. And this is when the us versus them comes in. And this is when there’s division. And this is when, you know, the anti hustlers are like looking at the hustlers with all the judgment and like, oh my gosh, they’re just, it’s so gross what they’re doing. And I can’t believe what they’re doing. And then we have over here, the anti anti hustlers or the hustlers, you know, and they’re working, you guys they’re working like, let’s just let’s have some respect.

Kristen Boss (24:22):  Like they are working. Like it might be from a scarce place or might be from panic or urgency, but they’re working, they’re putting in the work. But over there they might be looking at the anti hustlers and thinking like they’re being lazy. They’re, you know, they’re, they’re phoning it in. They’re not doing the work. It’s an excuse. They’re checking out. Like, so we have each side has a story about the other side, that’s creating a division. That’s creating like a, our way is better and you’re wrong. And then teams are dividing. And I, you know, I said this to, to the leaders at my mastermind event this weekend, I was like, let’s stop with this us versus them narrative. And I also, you know, I’ll own this as a coach. I think when I first, you know, started this podcast two years ago, I think maybe even my rhetoric might have been slight.

Kristen Boss (25:05):  There might have been a slight under or tone of like that way versus this way. Instead of like, here’s a way here’s a way and you could choose to do something with it. So I even think as a coach, like I’ve even worked on my language over the years and just thinking like, I don’t want to isolate anybody. I don’t want to con I don’t want to judge anybody. I don’t want, you know, someone who’s working hard to think that they’re wrong. I don’t want them believing that they’re wrong. And that it’s shameful. And what’s so interesting is like, you know, just some, just honest conversation over the weekend, you know, it was just like, can you look back at your own story? Because I have people come to me and it’s like, they feel really bad for how they built their business. Like, yeah, I’m here.

Kristen Boss (25:47):  I have this amazing income, but I hustled to get here and, and true. Like they’re really, really burnt out and they probably have regrets, but it’s like, they feel shame for how they did it. Like I was wrong to do it that way. And what I’ve been inviting them into is I’ve been inviting. Like, can you just have such love and compassion for that part of yourself for that part of you that was operating in survival. That part of you who might have been scared, who might have been scared of like, how are we going to pay this month’s bill and how are we going to make it like hustle? Doesn’t make you wrong. It’s just where we go. And we’re scared and we’re afraid and we have low belief and we’re in lack. And it’s where we go. When we believe we have to do more, to earn more, instead of, I need to work more strategically and more focused in order to make more.

Kristen Boss (26:37):  And it’s so funny. This is like what I teach my masterminds. I’m like, okay, at this stage of the game, a lot of them like are afraid to grow their businesses more because they tell, they believe like I have to put in more hours and I don’t have that in me. And I want to enjoy this season of life. But when we, we do this really intense exercise where they get really, really, really clear on the areas of their business that make, and the areas that need, they need to delegate. And once they get really clear on those things, they suddenly see like, oh, I can grow my business. I can take it further when I do these things. But the reason why most people think they can’t grow their businesses is cause they’re too caught up in busy work and managerial tasks thinking that that is that’s you helpful work and it’s not, that’s not the work that makes you the money.

Kristen Boss (27:27):  So just like when you’re looking at people who might be still like in your mind, if you’re calling them a hustler in your mind and they’re going hard instead of judgment for them, can you access compassion for them and maybe take a lesson, maybe they have something that they can teach you. Like they’re clocking in every day they’re putting in the work. Like maybe there’s something and you watching them, you can be like, okay, you know what? I can respect that every day they’re clocking in, they’re working. They’re focused. I get it. I see it. Maybe there’s something to learn there. And for my friends that like are the really into hence hard workers and maybe you’re not giving yourself a rest. And like my anti, anti hustle friends, maybe, you know, you can look at your friends of sustainability over there and just be like, okay, how can I learn from their rest?

Kristen Boss (28:18):  How can I learn from their capacity to trust themselves and have the high belief in the long game? What’s the left and there. And when we do this, when we look at, at each other and at ourselves, instead of saying like, your way is wrong and my way is better instead of like, Hey, we’re all we all want the same thing and we’re working our way towards it. And this is why I talk so much about sustainability. And I’ve been, that’s why the first, my first live event that I had in December of 20 at the end of 2020, yes. At the end of 2020 was Sustainable Success. I didn’t call it the anti hustle event. I called it like, well, what do I want for people? I want longevity. I want sustainability. And when we bring sustainability into the conversation, then it’s just about, okay, can I keep doing this for long periods of time?

Kristen Boss (29:07):  Or might I need some rest? So I also want to offer this to you. If you’re a leader of a team and you have in your mind if you have a leader under you who maybe isn’t fully on board with the way you’ve shifted in doing things and the way you’re changing things, instead of like making them wrong for sticking, with what they know, ask yourself, how can I still support them? Even when they are doing things differently than I do, how are they still, how can I still add value and contribute to them as their leader? How can I still help them and be of service to them instead of looking at them like, oh God, they’re a lost cause they’re going to burn out? There’s nothing I can do for them. Instead of like, hold on, I still can add value to this person and meet them where they’re at.

Kristen Boss (29:51):  And I think that’s what happens is we see people working in a certain way and we seek to change how they work instead of leading them where they are at loving them, where they are at, and supporting them in that place. And they might, they might choose to change things down the road. I hope more people choose like, Hey, I’m going to just work from a different place. The work itself might not change, but who I am and the work can change, right? That’s what it is, friends like the work isn’t very different. It’s just who you are being in the work. And it’s trusting yourself to take a break and not believe that your business is about to crash and burn the moment you rest. And that’s a scary mindset to have is like believing. Like if I rest, it all falls apart. If I rest, no one performs and I’m going to tell you right now, if that’s your thought, you need to evaluate your systems because your systems allow for rest, your systems are how you duplicate yourself.

Kristen Boss (30:49):  It is how people get results while you are resting. I can’t tell you how important this is, but it’s like no one wants to slow down and do the systems. And it’s kind of a mess, right? I, so here’s what I want to just ask of you today. I’m want to ask you to kind of reach across the aisle, to your friends, to your sidelines, to your leaders. And I want you to tell them good job. Like I don’t care what, in what way they are working their business. If they are working their business, good job, good job. You’re clocking in today. That’s something to be really proud of. I, this us versus them and like, oh, oh, they’re the, that team is so hustling and, and like, and looking at them with like scorn and contempt and like disgusted instead of like, okay, this is the way they choose to work.

Kristen Boss (31:39):  All right. You know, good for them that that’s not the way I want to work, but I’m still going to work. And for my auntie anti hustle friends, honestly, I don’t know if you’re listening to this podcast. You, I mean, if you are, I’m so glad you’re here. Awesome. Glad you made it. But for, for my friends that are like looking at, you know, your anti-US friends and maybe you, you know, in your mind, you think they’re not working hard enough. Like you can call them up from love. Instead of being like, Hey, get to work. You’re being a lazy, lazy piece or whatever. Just like, what can you learn from them? What can you learn from them? And how can you still lead them, calling them up and helping them see like, Hey, hold on, you still got to do the work friend. You still, you can’t label something that feels uncomfortable to you as hustle.

Kristen Boss (32:25):  You hear that again. If it feels uncomfortable to you, you can’t label it hustle. And I think that’s what some people have done is like, Ooh, this feels really uncomfortable and scary to me. I think that’s hustle. I don’t think I’m supposed to feel that way. Like anti hustle doesn’t mean it’s suddenly like going to be easy and light and rainbows and unicorns. Like it’s hard to manage your mind. It’s hard to show up when the results aren’t coming fast enough. It’s hard to put in the work when you feel like no one else is watching. It’s hard to work when no one’s applauding you. It’s hard to work when you’re not getting the incentives and you’re not earning the trips yet. That is hard work when you’re putting in the daily necessary work, right. That is hard work. And all of that is uncomfortable. All of that feels scary.

Kristen Boss (33:15):  All of that feels emotionally hard. Of course, it does. But just cause feels hard. Doesn’t mean you say, I think that’s hustle. I don’t think I’m going to do that. Like I’m just going to post and wait for people to just show up and, and you know, I’ll get there someday, right? It’s like, if you’re looking for a, get outta jail free card, right? We still got to work. We work with focus. We work with purpose. We work with intention. My mastermind will tell you they work hard in the, there they do, but they’re learning to rest. Well, they’re learning to incorporate rest into their work instead of working for their rest. They are learning to rest while they work because they go further faster. I’m going to give you this analogy. I give it the mastermind. I’m going to give it to you because I just feel like everyone needs to hear it.

Kristen Boss (34:01):  You ready? Okay. This concept of slowing down to speed up and learning to rest, incorporate, rest into your work. Instead of like, I’m going to go, go, go, go until I need rest. I was just recently a Disneyland with my family and it was so amazing. I was totally unplugged from my business for a week. It was wonderful. I checked in with my I, you know, Facebook group a little bit, but nothing else. It was delightful. I was like, man, this is great. And you know, I have two kids, they’re six and my youngest is about to turn five and first time to Disneyland. And the first day we did Disneyland, we didn’t get a stroller, strike one, strike two. We didn’t go back to the hotel for naps. That should have just been strike two and strike three. So we just kept going with the kids.

Kristen Boss (34:46):  And about seven o’clock was like nuclear meltdown. Like they were falling apart. There was a lot of crying. There was like, you know, the, they, it was a mess. We were carrying them from place to place. We were tired and come the firework show. My son was like literally sitting on my husband’s feet on Main Street. Like he fell asleep, sitting up. I had never seen him that tired. My daughter was like, passed out, like on my shoulders. Like they couldn’t even make it to the firework show. And then we went straight back to the hotel and like, it was just rough. So we’re like, okay, this is not the way to do so. The night for the rest of the trip, what we did was we went to the park early. We, you know, we got in rides and we, and we got a stroller.

Kristen Boss (35:30):  It was great just to like preserve their legs. I think we were walking like eight or nine miles a day. My legs were shot at the end of this trip, but it was amazing. And also genie pass, highly recommend. It’s totally worth it. But we got the stroller and then we’re like, okay, we’re going to like take breaks. And then at like two o’clock, we’re going to head back to the hotel. We’ll get a little snack and then we’re going to make them nap. And do you think my kids wanted to be taken out of Disneyland at two o’clock? Do you think that was something they were excited to do? Like, Hey, we’re going to leave the happiest place on earth. And then we’re going to go to the hotel in a dark room and you’re going to nap like no six and five-year-old wants to hear that.

Kristen Boss (36:13):  They’re like, what? No, don’t take me outta Disneyland. Look, there’s, let’s go to dumb. Let’s do star tours again. Let’s do those things. And so, but we, we were like, okay, but we, we know we, we got to play the long game here. So we, they napped in the rooms and we let them sleep from like, and they were just dead tired, but they like, they didn’t act like it until they got in the bed. Just boom passed out, slept from three to six. We woke them up at six and we went into the park and those kids, it was like they had their second wind. It was insane. We got more rides done at night. They had the best time. And we were in the park till 11 o’clock at night. And my kids were having the time of their lives because in the middle of the day, they went back asleep.

Kristen Boss (36:55):  And so I was talking to my mastermind members as like, listen, when you slow down to work on your systems or to take care of yourself or to rebuild team culture, anytime you slow down of cor, it feels like you’re leaving the happiest place on earth. Like being recognized, hitting goals all the time, you know, having your corporate office, reach out to you and be like, Hey, can you do a training and getting all the kind of right recognition? Like your brain is getting all kinds of dopamine from that. It feels good. Of course, it feels good to work all the time. You’re forgetting. Like, I’m like, like the queen B of hustling. Like that was my name. If, if like, if I could have had a middle name, I would’ve been Kristen Hustle Boss. Absolutely. Every time, like, I didn’t want to rest you guys.

Kristen Boss (37:40):  I was, I was the worst. I was, I didn’t read a fictional book for like two years. Didn’t watch TV. And I thought like, I was so proud of that. I’m like I looked at people that were like watching TV as like irresponsible. I was like, look at you. You’re so irresponsible. So just remember who this is coming from. Okay. Like, I understand how painful it is to feel like you’re leaving the happiest place on earth, where it’s a, just, you know, a million hits a day to, to dopamine, you know, receptors in your brain where it’s easy, where you feel recognized to retreat and rest and restore and replenish. And you ha and then, but the beauty of that is when you rest and you replenish, you’re able to go back out for more. You’re able to have a longer day, like, think about it, day one, we were done at seven.

Kristen Boss (38:26):  That was it. It was just a nightmare. And, and the, we stayed out long. But the experience of how we stayed out was not fun. Actually. No, we, because the fireworks were at nine. So we were out till 10. But the experience of it was exhausting. We weren’t having fun. The kids were crying like they were in the park, but they were miserable. But when they went back, listen, when they did the nap and they went back into the park, their experience in the park was hat way higher. They were happy. They were on rides. No one was having tantrums. It was amazing because they rested their experience of Disneyland of going back in. Not only were they able to last longer, but their experience of it was better. And I think this is what we do in our work. We’re just like, I don’t want to rest.

Kristen Boss (39:12):  I’m going to stay here and I’m going to stay. I’m going to go and go and go. But that, and like, we could be in the happiest place on earth and suddenly we’re miserable. We’re having temper tantrums and we’re falling asleep on Main Street and we’re missing the firework show because we’re so burnt out because we didn’t take the time to rest. And I just thought that was such a good example when it comes to this, like this notion of like, yeah, of course, it’s easier to want to be in your work all the time. And it doesn’t sound fun to rest at first until you learn to see the value of it. And when you realize, wow, when I’m rested, my experience of work becomes qualitatively better. Like, Hey, we did a full day in the park with my kids and it was a nightmare. Like they were in the park, they were in the happiest place on earth, but they were not the happiest kids on earth.

Kristen Boss (39:56):  But when we, he took them back to rest and we brought them back. They were the happiest kids on earth at the happiest place on earth because they rested. And that is what’s available for you in your business. Of course, it feels hard to slow down. Of course, it feels hard to rest. It’s always going to feel better to want to go back to work. Of course, like, and it’s easy, especially when we find our worth and our work when our identities are all wrapped up in that. So France, we’re going to be done with this us versus them. Join me in that. Start with me, like do this with me, pioneer this with me, that we’re not going to condemn and call those people the gross hustlers. And we’re not also not going to phone it in when it feels hard and call that hustle either. It’s about who we are of being in the work is about how we show up in the world.

Kristen Boss (40:43):  It’s about letting go of lack, letting, letting go of scarcity, working on our beliefs, learning to not find our worth in our work. Of course, that’s hard because our culture teaches us like you are what you do. Okay? Which reminds me- book launch coming up. Book is coming to stores, April 19th. It’s shipping from Amazon. You’re going to want to, pre-order make sure you hit the show notes. If you’re not on the book launch list, we’re going to have an amazing virtual book club. You want to be in that Facebook group. It’s going to feel different. It’s not going to be like super professional business coach, Kristen. It’s, you’re going to get to know me. I’m going to get to know you. We’re going to learn about out the amazing concepts that are in this book of how you can work differently. Working with purpose. It’ll feel like we’re going to have a party guys.

Kristen Boss (41:28):  I know a lot of you do book clubs with your teams. You’re going to want to get in there. You’re going to your teams in there. It’s going to create such amazing conversations between you and your friends, your uplines, your sidelines. I, and you might not even be in network marketing. Maybe you’re a coach. Maybe get your coach friends in there, your clients in there, it’s fine. Like I’m not limiting it to only to network marketers. I’m limiting it for anybody who wants. I’m opening up for anybody who wants to learn to work with purpose. And they are done being in the hustle culture. The culture of you are worthy when you do more. I am so done with that. I’ve unsubscribed. We are done. We’re going to do better. And I hope you’ll join me in that. You’re going to want to check the show notes for that. We will catch you in the next episode, friends,

Kristen Boss (42:16):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the Academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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