Purposeful Social Selling

Urgency Vs Scarcity Ep #79

Nov 29, 2021

Thanksgiving is over. The turkey has been put away, the stockings are hung, and the holidays are officially in full swing. In this mad dash to finish the year strong, many of you would have relied on hustle to meet your end-of-year goals. But now that you know there’s a better way you might be afraid to show up out of fear of falling back on old habits.

If you’re needing clarity about the difference between hustle and hard work, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Kristen is talking about the difference between selling from a place of scarcity and acting with urgency in your business. Spoiler alert: both may get results but only one is sustainable for long-term success.

Join us this week as Kristen talks about:

  • Signs you’re selling from a place of scarcity
  • Why creating buy-in is essential to sustainable results
  • What happens when negative emotions drive your decisions
  • How a misunderstanding of what it looks like to have healthy urgency in your business can lead to inaction
  • Goals vs. Tasks
  • Why balance is the true key to sustainable success

Hustling in your past life is nothing to be ashamed about. But the fear you can harbor because you don’t want to feel the exhaustion that comes from hustle is real and should be acknowledged. Knowing the difference in how it feels to be stuck in hustle and creating healthy urgency in your business allows you to grow in an intentional and sustainable way. Let go of the desperation and believe in the process.

It’s back and better than ever! Sustainable Success 2.0/22 is the virtual event of the year. Join Kristen LIVE for 3 days of intensive training, December 27th – 29th at Noon CT. This event is exactly what you need to start your New Year off right.  Click HERE to register and download your free pre-workbook. 

Connect with Kristen:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://Kristenboss.com/question

Transcript for Episode #79: Urgency VS Scarcity

Kristen Boss (00:00):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:48):  Hey bosses. Welcome to another episode of the podcast and happy Monday to you. I hope you all had a really fabulous holiday weekend with your family, your friends, and your loved ones. I hope it was also hustle-proof. I hope you really just took the time to enjoy everyone and everything around you. So before we get into today’s topic, because it’s going to be, it’s going to really pack a punch. And I think it’s going to clear some things up for a lot of you that might have some questions or might be confused around how to show up in your business and how to actually meet your goals from a healthy sense of urgency. But before we get there, I have an exciting announcement. Our three-day year-end event is officially open for registration. It’s in the link in our show notes and it’s the Sustainable Success 2.0 for 2022.

Kristen Boss (01:38):  So if you joined the Sustainable Success last year, we’re making it better and bigger. This year, I’ve completely revamped the materia,l revamped the content. I’m bringing you fresh new content. It’s going to feel like you’re drinking from a fire hose of value. Your, your hands are going to be tired from all the notes you’re going to take. Your team chats are going to explode with ah-ha moments and breakthroughs. And it’s going to give you extremely tangible things for you to take away and take action on. It is going to be the event of the year. So you’re going to want to get your teams, your sidelines, your friends, your buddies, your chats, whether you’re besties in you’re in the same company, as you are not, you’re going to want to be in this together because there’s going to be a lot of accountability that’s available for you are you’re going through the event.

Kristen Boss (02:25):  So the details. It’s December 27th, 28th, 29th, it’s going to be held in a private Facebook group. And listen, this is what happens. Every time we run an event, usually people are waiting. They’re like, oh, I’ll wait. I’ll wait. I’ll wait. And then we usually get like 2000 people after the first live on the first day rushing to get in the group. It’s insane. So this year we’re actually closing registration. You will not be able to buy a ticket or have access to the Facebook group after midnight on the 28th. We’re Closing it down. And we’re doing this because we want everybody to have ample time to watch the replays and to not feel like they have to rush through the material. We are keeping the replays up in the Facebook group through new year’s day at midnight. You’re going to want to be there.

Kristen Boss (03:17):  I’m going to be delivering so much value to you. I always make the promise that you’re going to get way more than what you pay for. It’s a $9 event, just skip a peppermint mocha, skip breakfast at Starbucks, and you can absolutely afford to be at this event. And I’m going to blow your mind with how much value I give you. You’re going to pay $9. And you’re going to feel like you spent $200 is going to be like $200 of value coming back to you. We’re going to be clearing up so many things I’m going to be actually telling you about where social selling is headed the projections and trends for marketing for the next couple of years and what we are seeing and where things are going because you don’t want to be behind in the marketing curve. You want to be ahead.

Kristen Boss (04:03):  You want to be at the helm. You want to know exactly what’s going on and you want to be a part of the future of marketing. You don’t want to be a part of old yesteryear marketing because marketing is a rapidly evolving game, changing a thing that has a life of its own. And I make it my job to know where the industry is going. Particularly what, how our audience responds to marketing. What’s working with audiences. Now you’re going to want to be a part of that. So go to the show notes, show notes, and register. And when you early register, when you register early, you’re getting awesome. Pre-Work for me, you’re getting a worksheet that you do before the event. You’re getting a workbook for the event. You’re actually getting a welcome video. When you join as well. We are really thinking about the overall experience from the moment you register to the moment that the group closes.

Kristen Boss (04:54):  So you want to be there, tell your people, tell your friends don’t let anybody procrastinate, but there’s always the last minute people that are like, I don’t know. I’ll think about it later. You don’t want to do that. And if you’re like, well, Kristen, and it’s going to be at noon central time every day, the training’s going to last roughly an hour. If you’re like, I have things going on. I have a family. We keep the replays in the group. If you are a student of mine, if you’re in the academy, yes, you’re going to have access to the live event and your member portal after the first of the year. But if you want to be a part of the live training, if you want to do this with your friends and your team, and you want to be a part of the live experience, because there is something about being a part of it live than watching a recording.

Kristen Boss (05:34):  You want to be a part of the energy. You want to be a part of what we’re doing. It’s $9. If you want to be a part of it live, otherwise, if you want to wait, it’ll be in your member portal, but I’m going to highly encourage you to be at the live event. And as always, I always make it worth your time. I always make it worth your money, because I know there’s a lot competing for your time and your attention and your energy in today’s world. And I always want you to feel like you are making the most of your time when you are spending it in a training with me, we’re going to blow your mind. We’re going to have a blast. So be sure to check the show notes, registration is live today. Tell your people, okay. Enough of that. Are you guys ready for the topic today?

Kristen Boss (06:17):  I’m really excited about this one because I’m noticing I was coaching someone in my mastermind and she was having some confusion around this. And I was like, I’m definitely going to turn this into a podcast episode because she’s definitely not the only one. And I also want to say, you know, a lot of people will come to me and they feel the need to like, apologize for hustling in their business. It’s like, you know, I noticed this in the academy as well. They come, they’re like, okay, well, okay. So I hustled for the result and you know, I did it. And I’m like, okay, well, we don’t have to judge you for that. That doesn’t mean you were wrong. Like the fact that you hustled doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, that you’re a selfish person, or that you went about the industry wrong. I want to be really clear about that because I’m not interested in shaming people for hustling.

Kristen Boss (07:05):  And if you felt shame, you know, I don’t want that for you. Okay. What I want you to, what I really want to create is just self-awareness and also realize that this is about longevity, more than it is about doing it, right? Like there’s not a right, ran a wrong way in the wrong way as hustling. And I think that sometimes the narrative that people start to believe or tell themselves, and they think, you know, I was wrong for doing that. They apologize or they feel bad, or, you know, and they’re so afraid to like step back into the work because they’re afraid of hustling. And I noticed this. People will, you know, hustle for a number of years. They’ll burn out really bad. And then when they’re ready to re-engage with their business, what happens is I see a lot of people afraid of coming back to their business, or they’re afraid to take their business to the next level.

Kristen Boss (07:56):  If they’ve been at a plateau for a while, they’re very afraid to grow their business because they’re afraid that it will require hustle to grow their business again. And I’ve asked people because I coach on this alive had people that are like, okay, I want to grow my business, but I’m I don’t know how to grow my business. And I asked them, well, why do you not know how to grow your business? And they say, well, I built my business from hustle. And now that I don’t want to hustle anymore, I don’t know how to grow my business. And that’s so interesting to me because they think the hustle was the activity, like what they did, you know, it was like, oh, I was sending tons of messages. And I was, you know, doing all these things, but it’s likely not the activity. That was the problem.

Kristen Boss (08:41):  It was the energy with which they approach their work that really burns them out over time. It’s likely. And what happens is, is I noticed, cause I, I observe a lot of people and I’ve worked with again, hundreds now, thousands of social sellers. And I noticed some patterns and it’s not so much the activity. And I have to remind them of that. I have to say, listen, the fact that you were serving your team and showing up and going live and offering incentives like that’s all good and fine, but it’s, that’s not what did the damage, what did the damage was that there was no allowance for rest, for hobbies, for play, for boundaries. It was kind of this all or nothing, mentality and hustle very much as all or nothing. You’re all in or you’re out. And I think there can be shame around that narrative of like unless you’re going hard minus will not be here.

Kristen Boss (09:35):  You, you, you don’t want it bad enough. And we have to get rid of this all-or-nothing mentality and approach in our businesses. And most people have conditioned themselves to only know how to work from an all-or-nothing place. And so when they are not all in, they kind of throw in the towel and they think, well, nothing matters, nothing works. So what happens is when people think about growing their business, they think I’m going to have to hustle again. And I ask them, I say, well when you think of that, how does that make you feel? And they always say exhausted, or I just don’t think I’m going to survive it again. Right? So they, they have this thought, like the only way I’m going to be able to grow is if I’m all in again, you know, again, their mentality is like the only way to grow.

Kristen Boss (10:16):  This is an all-or-nothing mentality. And because of that, they actually don’t work on strategically growing their business because they’re afraid to, because they’re afraid it’s going to burn me out. It’s going to exhaust me. I’m going to be miserable. I might not survive at this time. Right. But it’s about who you are being in the work, less, less than what you were doing. It is who you are being. It is the energy with which you approach your work. And there are two different things because what I see people doing as they come to terms with like, wow, hustle was pretty damaging for me. I, you know, my family life suffered my health suffered. My work suffered, my team suffered. Right? And, and there’s like, they saw the short-term rewards and the gains, but there was also some pain with that. And so what happens is people think like, okay, I don’t want to work from hustle anymore.

Kristen Boss (11:08):  And then they stopped knowing how to work. They stop working with a sense of urgency. And so let me clarify to clear this up for you. We’re going to make it really clear so that you know what your work should look like. Because we have to strike a balance. We have to find this consistent, sustainable pace. That somewhere between all or nothing, you still need to be all in on you. You still need to be all in on the vision. You still need to be all in on others. You still need to be all in on the work that’s required. But we tend to think all in means I I’m. I give up all sense of balance in my life. And this will consume me. I will eat, sleep, breathe, do my business at all times. It will be all I talk about. It will be all.

Kristen Boss (12:02):  I do. Everything else must go. That’s a different kind of, that’s like an unhealthy obsession versus I’m all in on me. And I’m all in on doing it in a way that’s sustainable where I don’t feel like I need to take a break from my business, hide from my business, or go on vacation or need to take a break. Right. That’s how we know that you’re probably not doing it from the best place. If you’re constantly needing a break, it might be because you’re hustling and you’re like the all-in you’re sprinting. You’re exhausting yourself. You need to take a break, right? You need to recover. But if you’re doing your business sustainably, you’re not going to need recoveries because you’re constantly taking care of yourself and you’re doing your practicing rest and health. Okay. So I always tell people that the energy of hustle is driven by scarcity and scarcity is from a place of lack.

Kristen Boss (12:58):  It’s a place of like, I need to do more, be more, have more in it. It usually feels very anxious and very desperate. It’s very fear-driven. It’s very fearful of if I don’t hit this goal, I’m not going to be okay. It’s not believing you’re going to be okay. It’s very, you know, first come first serve. It’s I got to get to that customer before anybody else does. It’s a very competitive thing. There are limited seats at the table and it feels extremely desperate. And you know, you’re there. If you feel really emotionally disappointed when somebody tells, you know, tells you not now, or a customer doesn’t re-up their order or a team member steps away. And if you were having a very visceral response in your body where you’re kind of in fight and flight mode and you freak out and you have, you know, kind of like an anxiety attack.

Kristen Boss (13:55):  And from that place, you react desperately. You start thinking, okay, who do I got to talk to? What do I gotta do? And you become a flurry of unfocused frenzied activity to cover or make up for this massive feeling of helplessness, loss of control, and anxiousness. You feel you start problem-solving from desperation. And when we’re problem-solving from desperation, we’re not really bringing our best ideas to the table. We’re just throwing everything at it because we’re desperate because we’re scared because we’re confused. Because we’re worried. And our brain really doesn’t work the best from that place. So when we’re working in a lot of people will hit goals from scarcity because it puts them into a hyperdrive of furious activity. And at least when you’re taking activity, you get results. Now, are they sustainable results? Are they the best results? I argue that they’re not right.

Kristen Boss (15:00):  I argue that if you have to beg a customer to stay with you if you have to beg a customer to join you, you’re going to have to beg them to stay with you. Right? It’s so much better to have people who are, who are bought in with you. And I’m going to be talking about this in the three day is how to create massive buy-in with both your team and your customers, because buy-in is everything you have to have. Buy-In. And when you’re scarce, when you were feeling scarce, creating buy-in feels like it takes too long. So instead of creating buy-in, you kind of force, you force the result to happen. You create a transaction without having real buy-in and trust from somebody like scarcity says, I don’t have time to, to develop relationships, to really focus on serving people, to let people decide.

Kristen Boss (15:52):  I don’t have time for that because I got to meet my minimums. I got to hit this goal, and I’m going to force the timeline, Forrest results from overactivity in my own desperation, because I’m afraid is usually how hustle flushes out. Right? So scarcity, and again, you can still hit goals. Why? Because there’s a flurry of activity, but again, is it from the right and best place, because typically, and I know this happens all the time. People go into the end of month, craziness, absolute like that. I can smell it at the end of every month. People just freaking out. Like I gotta, I gotta hit my minimums. I gotta hit that rank up. I got to hit that goal. I’m so close to promotion. And it’s, it’s fascinating that I still get DMS from people. It shocks me really that I still get DMS from people saying, Hey, I’m so close to my end-of-month goal.

Kristen Boss (16:46):  Can you help me out with an order? And they’ve never talked with me before. They don’t even actively follow me. And it’s just, it’s so uncomfortable. And I, I feel such compassion for that person now, like I know when you guys hear this like you feel like, and let’s just all collectively, instead of approaching that person with annoyance and telling them like, you’re the reason why people hate this industry. You’re the reason and shame on you and listen to Kristin’s first episode, you need this because I know something you do that you just send me a podcast episode of mine from a place of like annoyance and being like, Hey, you’re ruining it for the rest of us, but, but I think it helps so much to seek, to understand that person with a lot of compassion. And that’s truly how I feel when people feel that the only way I’m going to be okay is working myself to the bone working 24 7, not seeing my babies, not having hobbies, not getting adequate rest.

Kristen Boss (17:45):  Like I have so much compassion and tender love for that person. Who’s believing that because I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that that’s, that’s the ideology that they bought into. That’s the prison that they’ve locked themselves into. And oftentimes when those people hear about me or hear my methodology, they get angry with me because in some ways I’m like taking away what they know and I’m disrupting something that makes them feel safe. Because remember when we’re in scarcity, it’s, we’re in this deep desire to like, how can I create safety for myself and know that I have resources coming to me and that I’m going to survive. And when I come in and disrupt the narrative and say, Hey, this is harmful. It’s what I’m doing is I’m actually threatening somebody’s sense of security and safety. And like, so instead of being upset that people are mad at my message, I can have a lot of compassion and be like, oh man, I really feel for them.

Kristen Boss (18:45):  They’re just not ready yet. And that’s okay. So when people are approaching like that end of month, like desperation the scarcity, the urgency, right? They end up hustling through activity in order to make up for this like lack of belief to cover over this deep feeling of fear. They have. That’s really what it is. It’s fear driving the activity. Okay. And so when you are led by scarcity, here are some of the signs that you are definitely being driven by scarcity based on top of what I’ve already shared. So scarcity is usually has a lack of focused direction. It’s everywhere at once. It’s blasting your platforms everywhere. It’s like, I’m just going to message a hundred people randomly, or I’m just going to blast my email list. I’m just going to, and it’s not a very focused strategic direction. There’s no direction. It’s like, and it’s also this idea that I’m going to try everything at once.

Kristen Boss (19:47):  I’m going to try all the things. And sometimes that creates a lot of overwhelm. Like I have to throw everything at this, right. But the biggest thing is it’s without direction without having a clear path ahead, it’s just like I, and it’s also extremely emotionally impulse led, think about that. Hustle or working from scarcity is being led by emotional impulses. And the emotional impulse might be fear. It might be anxiety. It might be anger. Like someone cancels an order. And you were depending on that order to hit that goal, if anger is your first initial emotion or you’re, you have to really figure out like, there’s a story you’re telling yourself. And that definitely tells me that you were operating in scarcity. And that tells yourself that you’re operating in scarcity, right? And from that emotional impulse of anger, you might send a message that comes offshore or blind, or maybe you go and write a post that is targeted at that person.

Kristen Boss (21:02):  Subconsciously like, you know, you gave up, if you’re giving up on your health goals too soon, you need to give the products time and you write a post like that. That’s being led by an emotional impulse that was happening in your scarcity. So again, it is negative emotions being a driver, like it feels extremely impulsive. All of your decisions feel reactive to an emotional impulse. You kind of make it up as you go. You’re kind of everywhere at once. And also it’s a more, is a better approach. You end up throwing like too much activity too much everywhere. And you aim for quantity instead of quality. So you aim for like, I just gotta get 50 messages out there. I just got to talk to as many people as possible. Instead of thinking like, where do I have the most relational equity right now? Where I can have those conversations where I can do this meaningfully, we’re going to have meaningful conversations, but when you’re in scarcity, you don’t go for quality.

Kristen Boss (22:07):  You go for quantity because, and then you start playing the numbers game. I just gotta talk. I just gotta get 50 messages out. And statistically, one of them has got to re-reach out to me, which by the way, the statistics on that with like cold leads in your market, it’s like less than one in a hundred will respond to you less than one in a hundred. And you could be doing a much better-leveraged effort when you’re serving your audience. Instead of chasing your audience, the energy of those are very different. Scarcity is chasing your audience, right? But when we’re serving where like putting our hand out to our audience, we are serving them. We’re giving we’re in a posture of giving. And it puts us also in the posture of receiving. Because if I give I’m also saying like, I’m willing to receive from my audience, right?

Kristen Boss (22:56):  But we’re not chasing, but scarcity is absolutely chasing your audience. Okay. It also, when you’re operating from scarcity, you’re constantly reacting emotionally to what is happening around you. You’re like you check your back office and you look at your points and now you have more anxiety. And from that anxiety, you go out and you make another post and you message three more people who haven’t gotten back to you in the last 12 hours. And you’re going to wake up those chats and then you do it over and over again. And you’re constantly, and then they’re not responding to the chats. And now you feel more anxiety. Like, oh, shoot, those leads are not going anywhere. And so you constantly feel like you were in an emotionally reactive state. And when we are in a reactive state, we’re unable to be proactive and strategic about what needs doing right.

Kristen Boss (23:48):  We’re in this very, it’s a survival fight or flight response. It’s a hurried energy, right? So that’s when you’re working from scarcity, it’s very fear-driven. Now I want to contrast that with the idea of urgency because what happens is I think some people treat scarcity and urgency the same. And what happens is when I see people leaving the hustle, they think they also need to leave urgency. And there is a healthy level of urgency to bring to your business because urgency is about a matter of importance and a matter of priority. It is saying like this needs to be done within a certain period of time. And it is important and essential that I do this. It requires prioritizing. Urgency says this is important. And if you don’t have urgency around your goals, you’re not going to reach your goals. Why? Because a lack of urgency is also telling yourself it’s a lack of importance.

Kristen Boss (24:50):  It’s a lack of being a priority. So if you have left the hustle and you don’t feel any urgency towards your goals, then you might have a misunderstanding of what healthy urgency looks like. And you might move might, might have subconsciously moved into the posture of like, it’ll happen when it happens. But the problem with that thinking is, is when it happens, when it happens, you’re still not giving your brain a direction, your S your L you’re letting your brain call all the shots. Cause when it’ll happen, when it happens, then you’re going to start deferring things to like, well, when things are settled down when I don’t have so much going on outside the home when the kids aren’t sick, there’s a lot of family activities coming up and you feel very reactive or you feel helpless to all the circumstances outside of you.

Kristen Boss (25:43):  And you wait for everything to be aligned. When you don’t have urgency, you’re in a very passive state waiting for your results to happen to you. And that is never the case. Notice that when you’re in scarcity, you’re like, how can I force the results to happen from this place of fear and desperation? Whereas a lack of urgency. Now, we’re kind of moving into apathy of like, it’ll happen when it happens, but now there’s no direction on this side either. Now there’s no plan there either, and you’re not hitting your results. You’re not going to hit your goals because you haven’t made them important. Just I want you to just really think about how can I treat my goals with utmost importance while letting go of desperation around the when and the how it’s kind of an interesting little balance you have to strike. So urgency is saying, I’m going to give focused efforts in this amount of time because here’s the thing.

Kristen Boss (26:46):  When you give a deadline or a timeline, it informs the intensity and longevity of your present-day actions. It informs your daily actions because this is what happens. And I see people and I know people that do this and are in this place when they’re listing out their goals, by saying like the activities that they’re going to do. So if I say, what’s your goal and someone were to respond to me. My goal is to go live three times a week to post every day in my Instagram. And to be in my stories every day, that is not a goal. That is a process of how you plan to accomplish a goal. But it’s not saying I am going to create 10 customers and three new builders in 90 days’ time. Now that once you do that, then it informs what your actions need to look like.

Kristen Boss (27:44):  Now you need to be asking, okay, how much value would I need to be creating? And how many conversations when they need to be in on a daily basis and how many people would I need to be connecting with and how many lives would I need to do? And what does my energy and my service and my posture and my beliefs need to look like in order for it to align with that very specific goal? So now that we have a specific goal with a specific app-specific timeline, I could talk today. Now that we have that, now this informs your action. Now you have direction. And now you’re able to supervise your brain as it has thoughts on its way to the goal. Now you are learning to operate with commitment. Now you’re like, I’m making a commitment to this outcome. And the process I’m doing is, you know, going live.

Kristen Boss (28:37):  This is the plan. But if you’re saying my goal is the activity, that is not a goal. And I would even argue, that’s you hiding from creating a goal because you’re afraid to feel a sense of urgency around your business, likely because you think urgency and scarcity is the same. You’re afraid to be like, well, I don’t want to be stressed. Oh my goodness. That’s the number one thing I hear when people put down a goal or tell me a goal, they’re like, well, or I asked them, why haven’t you set a goal? They often say, well, goals just really stress me out. I don’t want to be stressed but stressed. Like the feeling of stress and anxiety only comes from the story you are telling yourself about the goal. If you’re making it mean like I’m not going to be okay, unless I reached this goal or this goal, I’m going to make this goal mean something about me.

Kristen Boss (29:29):  Yeah. Then you’re going to invite stress and anxiety. Instead of I’m just going to commit to this goal and I’m going to have fun doing it. Right. But it’s not the goal itself. So many people are like, I don’t want to set a goal because I don’t want to stress myself out. Have you ever thought you don’t have to stress yourself out to have a goal it’s just committing to the goal? That’s all it is. And then committing to being okay with yourself. If you fall short of the goal, there is so much of this work happening in the 90 Day Goal Getter Challenge that’s happening in the Academy. Which by the way, we’re going to be restarting it at the first of the year. You want to be a part of that. It is blowing people’s minds. There are people that have said, I thought I was consistent.

Kristen Boss (30:14):  I had no idea how inconsistent I was. And then I had some people that have said, wow, I didn’t realize how busy I’ve kept myself in my business. Not actually growing my business. Like it’s been eye-opening for people. It’s training people, how to become consistent. Listen, consistency is not who you are. Well, it kind of is, but consistency. You don’t just wake up one day and decide to be consistent. And then you’re just magically consistent. That’s an, and it’s not even an intention that you put out in the world. Dave, I am now going to be a consistent person. I really just need consistency. And I hear people say this all the time, but the problem is, is they don’t know how to become someone who is consistent. And that is exactly what the 90 Day Goal Getter Challenge is teaching my students, it’s blowing their mind and they’re having extraordinary results.

Kristen Boss (31:07):  I can’t wait to share with them. And if you people are going to be sharing their experiences down the road and we’re giving prizes for it, it’s so fun. But people are like learning so much about themselves. And here’s the thing. When you set a goal and you create urgency around the goal, you learn a lot about yourself. You learn about the stories you tell yourself, you learn about the constant patterns that you keep letting getting in the way of your results. I’m going to be going in-depth about this in the three-day event because you need to understand why you aren’t consistent. Right? Also, when you are working from a place of urgency, there’s a healthy sense of meeting a deadline. And the reason why it’s a healthy sense of meaning a deadline because it ensures that you do what you said you are going to do.

Kristen Boss (31:51):  It’s about creating self-trust, it’s about follow-through. Because listen, if you never set a goal, if you never say I’m going to have 10 customers in 90 days, and you just keep saying like, well, I’m just going to keep showing up and we’ll see what happens. There’s nothing on the line to say, I’m going to follow through on something that I say I’m going to intend to do. I’m going to put my effort, my energy into ensuring that I am going to follow through in every way possible on what is controllable on my end to see this through, without operating from fear, desperation, and anxiety, and this fight or flight response, and emotionally reacting to everything that comes up. It’s very different. Urgency feels calm and grounded and focused. And it’s not about everything. That’s important too. You’re only focusing on the very few key things.

Kristen Boss (32:47):  Scarcity, you’re like throwing everything at everyone because you’re, you’re freaked out and you’re desperate, right? But urgency allows, allows for strategic thinking where there is urgency. There is strategy where there is scarcity. There is a frenzy of activity. It’s a flurry, it’s unfocused, urgency, also values quality over quantity. It’s like, we’re going to do this with urgency. We’re going to do this well. But when we’re not, we’re going to be about the quality of the results, right? There’s careful and thought-out actions and planning. And that’s about a healthy desire to meet your goals and what urgency does. And so scarcity, like I was saying earlier, scarcity tends to inform your emotions and you’re emotional and you react to those emotions. Whereas urgency informs your decisions.

Kristen Boss (33:46):  Working from scarcity, informs your emotions. Working from urgency informs your actions. This is so key for you to understand you need a healthy sense of urgency in your business because it helps you get incredibly strategic and develop a specific plan in order to make that goal happen. So, for example, I’m going to give you an example of this. If you’ve been sitting at the same rank for six months and you keep waiting for like, and you’re just like, I’m just going to keep putting my head down, serve my team, serve my customers, show up consistently on social media and eventually it’s going to happen for me. That’s great, but that’s not enough. You actually need to get in there and dig up. Okay. Why have I been at this rank for six months? What stories have I been telling about myself? What am I not addressing?

Kristen Boss (34:42):  What am I not fixing? And what am I not problem-solving for? And if you were, I guarantee, if you were to look at and be willing to feel all the emotions that came up with it, if you were to look at the next rank and telling yourself I’m going to hit it in X amount of time, and then asking yourself, what might my plan have to look like? What might my actions have to look like? I guarantee your daily activity would change. I guaran T it, but nothing changes if nothing changes. So if you just keep waiting for your results to happen, because you think setting a goal is going to create anxiety and this horrible experience for you, then you’re going to keep not sending a goal and not setting goals. And then therefore not having a plan for the goal is you’re just going to continue to live in the land of wishful thinking.

Kristen Boss (35:31):  Like, eventually my rank is going to happen to me. Eventually, I’m going to get there. Eventually, it’ll happen for me. Right? But we can’t be in that place because results don’t happen to you. Results happen with intentionality, with focus and purposeful work, and with boundaries and working very intentionally. This I’m going to just preach this all day. But what’s interesting is the main message that has been taught in network marketing culture is like, do as much as you can, as quickly as you can. And as intensely as you can until you get there. And some very few people can get there fast. The majority of people burn themselves out. I know this because I coach leaders of huge teams where they had team members by that message, okay, throw everything I can all or nothing. I’m all in, put my life on hold, just put my nose to the ground.

Kristen Boss (36:36):  Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind. And they look up six months later and they’re light years away from their goal. And they think, and they’re so freaking tired. Now they think this business model doesn’t work. And those are the people that end up calling you or sending you a text or sending you a message saying like, I just think I need to take a break for a while. I need to step back from my business and need to refocus on my family. I need to like, get my priorities straight, likely 99% of the time. It’s because they bought into the all-or-nothing message. And because they can’t afford emotionally, physically, mentally, what’s going on in their life. They can’t afford all in for years at a time, they write off the entire opportunity, the entire business model. And they say, or they write themselves off and they think I just don’t have what it takes.

Kristen Boss (37:28):  And we create this damaging message for those people. And then they leave and then they quit and then you have to find somebody else. And the problem is, is if you’re believing that message to them, what happens is, is you keep dismissing people who are willing to work and you keep thinking of, like, I just got to find the person who isn’t going to need to take a break. And you think like, they must not have been there. Oh, they need to take a break for the business. I didn’t get it, I didn’t recruit the right person. No, you did recruit the right person. They just bought into the wrong philosophy of work. And so now they’re quitting. So you can not like the hustle philosophy. You can disagree with it. But here’s my thought. My thought is, and this is my work in the world that I truly believe.

Kristen Boss (38:13):  I believe so many people will stay in this business model. If they learn to work with longevity and sustainability, we will, you will have far less people telling you. I need to step away for a while. I need a refocus on my family. I need a vacation. I need a break from this business that only those things happen when they learned to work with sustainability. But when you have a team, a sustainable team that is priceless, this is I truly believe we are going to see far more people staying with this business model. When they understand there’s a sustainable way to approach this business. I really believe that we’re going to see less people quitting and saying, this industry is exhausting. It’s not exhausting. It’s the message. That’s exhausting. Industry’s great. What message are we S are we selling with the industry, right? Are you selling the message of scarcity like ha all or nothing, right?

Kristen Boss (39:14):  And that, and that’s often what the world sees. Listen. People that haven’t, that view this business model. And they say it’s predatory. They say it’s, I don’t know the other words, but mostly I think the number one thing I say is like, they, I think they call it predatory desperate. That’s because they are viewing it through the lens of people operating from scarcity. But if they see people working from purpose and abundance and service and urgency, the outside narrative of the business model is destined to change. That’s why this work is so important because this work changes the entire industry. When the entire industry changes, more people want to come to the industry. Isn’t that amazing. I love that. And I really believe that’s where we’re going. So today, get clear on where you’re going and allow yourself a healthy sense of urgency and importance.

Kristen Boss (40:12):  This idea of like it’s important to me, it’s important that I put forth the effort to achieve these goals. And I’m going to have my own back. I’m willing to experience what I need to experience negative, like failure, disappointment, judgment, all those things on the way to the goal. When you move out of scarcity and learn to work with a healthy sense of urgency, your results become inevitable and your business starts to feel like fun. Doesn’t that sound great? I love it. All right. We will catch you all in the next episode. Don’t forget to register for the three-day event. We’ll see you then.

Kristen Boss (40:49):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the Academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or have been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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