Kristen talks a lot about goals here on the podcast. How to set goals, what to do to reach those goals, how to stay on track, and all the stuff in between. But have you ever wondered what uber-successful people do in order to achieve their goals? Well – Kristen is going to crack that code for you today.
It starts with a concept Kristen calls the future self exercise. This future self is a vision of yourself set in a future where you’ve already attained your goals. And its impact on your current self can help shift how you show up now in order to get the future you’ve been waiting for.
Not convinced? Listen in as Kristen talks about these topics:
- How to set the right goals for your future self in order to obtain them
- Why envisioning your future success can manifest into current success
- What showing up as your future self might look like
- How to take the emotion and attachment out of sales because you believe your success is inevitable
When you show up now in the way your future, successful self does, you’re showing up in a way that serves your audience and your business. By stepping into the space as the future version of yourself who is no longer worried and anxious about making a sale, you make more room for the things that actually move your business along. The work starts now.
The Book Bonus is Back! When you join between now and midnight on June 19th, new members of the Social Selling Academy will receive a free printed copy of the famous 90 Day Goal Getter Challenge Workbook. This is the ultimate accessory to help get you through the challenge, smashing goals along the way. Don’t miss out. Click here to join the Social Selling Academy today and claim your free workbook!
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Connect with Kristen:
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Transcript for Episode #111 Future Self Exercise:
Kristen Boss (00:05): Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.
Kristen Boss (00:48): Hey bosses! Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This week. I’m sharing with you a little tip or an exercise that I use in my business. And I actually started using it from my first day. I decided to be a coach when I was thinking about where I wanted to take my future, the career I wanted to build, and it’s an exercise I still use in my business to this day. And as I was sitting with it, I’m like, I can’t believe I’ve never shared this. And if I have, I don’t think I’ve devoted an episode to it. And it really truly does devote an episode. And I really have just been thinking and sitting with, okay, so what has created the results in my life? What has created this business that I have, you know, the book that got published, this podcast? How am I sitting on these results?
Kristen Boss (01:37): And you guys have heard me talk about consistency and compounding your results and you know, and some habits. But I think I want to dive more into habits that I have that I think maybe I assume, maybe are just a part of who I am or maybe they’re just natural. And so I really just decided to sit with, okay, let’s put everything on the table and what are all the habits that I have that I believe got me to this place. And I’ve been in rooms with people who are worth, you know, hundreds of millions and people who are, you know, doing huge things in the world. And I’ve noticed a lot of them have these same habits. So I’m going to be sharing those with you because you can start using them today. It’s not habits to start you know, when you make your first, you know, thousand dollars in the online space or your hundred K or, you know, you don’t start doing this when you make a million dollars, this is what you need to do right now today.
Kristen Boss (02:37): So I’m going to be sharing that with you. And if you haven’t already noticed we are full swing into summer, it’s fun. As soon as you know, things are a little bit different here in my house. My kids aren’t in school anymore. In fact, my daughter is sitting in the room with me, curled up in a little chair in my, in my office. And I was like, okay, well I gotta record this podcast. So you going to be quiet. She’s like, yeah, I’ll be quiet. So it’s kind of sweet having my daughter in the room, sitting in a chair over there. So she’s making little faces at me. So we are in full swing into summer. And the Summer of Success was a hugely successful event. And we had more than 12,000 social sellers register and watched the training. And I’m really, really proud of how that training went and how it served people.
Kristen Boss (03:22): There were a lot of A-ha moments. And a lot of people that I think were on the precipice of maybe quitting their business, putting their business on the back burner for the summer, decided, you know what, I’m worth this. And I’m coming back to this and yeah, you know what? I can devote one hour a day to building my future. You guys, you can devote one hour a day. You do have time. You just have to decide what’s stronger, your excuses to not do it, or your reasons to do it. You have to decide, which is stronger. My excuses or my reasons. And a lot of people kind of uncovered their excuses and discovered they figured out their reasons why it’s worth doing. And we talked about just why stories get in the way. And so if you have been on the fence about joining the Social Selling Academy, we are kicking off our new 90 Day Goal Getter Challenge starting July 1st.
Kristen Boss (04:14): And when you join between now in midnight, June 19th, you get the, the Goal Getter book mailed to you for free. And also for the first time ever. We were not sure if we’re keeping this as a permanent fixture, we’re kind of doing this beta test. We are offering a payment plan for the Academy. So if you’ve just kind of been on the fence and thinking about it for the first time ever, we have a payment plan for the Academy. So you can go to thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more. We’d love for you to join us. And so that you can be a part of our quarter three 90 day kickoff, and we’re going to be doing a coachathon inside of the Academy. We’re, we’re going to be doing daily live coaching July 5th to the ninth. So there’s going to be so much opportunity for you to be on our live coaching calls, get live coaching.
Kristen Boss (05:02): We have so many assets in there for you that helps ensure that you keep your word to yourself and you stay on the road to, you know, creating success in your business and staying consistent. I really did sit down and solve for what is everything a student could need to help them stay on track, to help them stay consistent and to help them take themselves seriously and show up day after day in this business. So super excited to announce that with you guys. So be sure to go to thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more. Okay, so let’s get into this exercise, this habit that I have been doing in my business for a long time. And it’s this concept of sitting with your future self, the future self that has accomplished already accomplished the big audacious goal that you currently are dreaming of.
Kristen Boss (05:55): And what I want to say is like, be careful with how you’re choosing your goals, because sometimes if you choose a goal that’s so big and it shuts down your imagination, it shuts down your creativity. You need to sit with a future goal that feels possible to you. It doesn’t feel completely impossible where your body shuts down your brain rejects it, and you can’t even imagine it. I want you to sit with a goal that’s big enough to where it feels uncomfortable. And I would say it triggers your how mentality and what I mean by that. Is it, has you asking yourself well, like, well, how would I do that? How would I get that many customers? How would I grow my account like that? How would I do that? That’s great. If you have, you know, thought of a goal and it’s triggering a bunch of how energy great.
Kristen Boss (06:47): It tells me that it hasn’t shut you down and it hasn’t stopped you from, you know, thinking about the goal it’s in, in fact, it’s kind of triggered this part of you. That’s like, okay, but how would I do that? That’s perfect. Okay. So I want you to sit with this goal and this, this concept of your future self is when you sit down and visualize your life and yourself after having accomplished the goal. And it’s not just like and it’s interesting it’s not just you like thinking about it and moving on. I mean, you are truly sitting down and getting very intimate with that version of yourself. And so what I did, so I’m going to give you an example of this. So if you’re like, Kristen, I don’t, I can imagine things, but what does this actually look like? Stick with me.
Kristen Boss (07:40): Okay. So for me, when I decided, you know, I was going to have a coaching career and a coaching business, this the huge audacious goal that was like so crazy for me to wrap my mind around, but didn’t shut me down, was making 200K a year. And for me, that felt like insane. I couldn’t even wrap my mind. Like, I, I could kind of wrap my mind around it. I was like, okay. That’s like, it’s, you know, double than what, you know, our household income brings in at the time. Okay. I think like my brain could wrap my mind around it, but I was also kind of like, I don’t know how I’m going to do this as a coach, but I really just sat with it. And I used my imagination and then I started asking myself some questions. Okay. The version of me, who’s making 200K a year in her coaching business or 20K a month is coming in regularly.
Kristen Boss (08:31): How does that person show up online? How do they market themselves? How do they talk about themselves? So, you know, I ask myself, okay, how do I show up? How does that version of me show up every day? How does that version of me show up to consultation calls when people get on a call with me and they want to, you know, they want to consider hiring me as their coach. How am I showing up in the online space? What decisions am I making at home? What investment decisions do I make? How do I view, you know, how do I view money? How do I view those things? And I truly sat down with myself and I asked myself all those questions I even went to like, okay, what are my daily habits? How do I solve problems? How do I handle conflict? How do I handle when somebody comes up to me and tells me, you know, I don’t like what you’re doing.
Kristen Boss (09:29): I think what you’re doing is wrong. Like, how does that version of me handle haters? How does that version of me handle it? When someone disagrees with me, how, what does that version of me do? And also, I even got so clear, like, how does that version of me dress every day? What kind of music does that version of me? Listen to what are my mornings like that version of me? And I just kept running many scenarios through my mind of like, what does that version of me do? And so something I did when I was starting out before I even had my first client and before, you know, I started really making any money as a coach. I sat with this. And even though like 20 K month felt like it felt so audacious, I was like, this is insane. Okay. But I’m going to sit here and just imagine, and what am I going to do?
Kristen Boss (10:16): And how consistent am I and how do I show up and how do I talk and how do I carry myself in the world? How do, how does that version of me walk around in the world? And so at the time what was happening was I was kind of how I was showing up to my work was I was kind of like rolling out of bed with a messy bun, wearing sweatpants, you know, just waiting, waiting for someone to find me in the world, waiting for someone to say, oh, you’re a coach. I want to work with you. But what was interesting is, as I was like walking around in my sweatpants around the house, you know, on days that I wasn’t in the salon, I wasn’t feeling like super motivated. I wasn’t feeling super inspired. And I just, and I also realized, okay, but what if inspiration hits me and I want to do go live or do a video.
Kristen Boss (11:06): And you know, I am not looking the way I want to look. The way I want to present myself, the way I want to be my most confident self. So now, because I have a messy bun and no makeup, and I’m not ready to conquer my day. Now, when inspiration hits, I’m not going to do the live because I’m not ready because I’m not, you know, I’m not dressed. I’m not, you know, looking cute or whatever. And again, it wasn’t, it, wasn’t the idea of looking cute for somebody else. The idea was, in what way I want to show up in the world where I feel confident, where I’m like, this is who I am, and this is how I want to show up. And for me, I’m like, well, if I’m going live, you know, presenting myself as a coach, I don’t think I want to go live in my, in my sweatpants with a messy bun.
Kristen Boss (11:48): I don’t, that’s not the way I want to show up. So I just thought, you know, I think this future version of me, I think she wakes up every day and she takes the time to get dressed, be professional. And she shows up at her desk as if she’s waiting for, as if she’s expecting the next client to, you know, get on a call like that version of me, you know, does her hair, does her makeup and gets dressed and ready for the day? That version of me is ready to go. So that when she’s sitting at her desk, she feels like she’s taking herself seriously. So for me, one of the things I told myself was like, okay, this version of me, she does her hair often. And she’s, and, and for what? So I wanted to like sit with that version of myself.
Kristen Boss (12:34): And I took myself so seriously guys that I wore heels under my desk. And there was something that was like, it was, it was like, I don’t know, what’s the word I’m looking for. It was like communicating to my brain. Like, as I was sitting there wearing heels, it was like, my brain was registering that as like, okay, it’s go time. It’s game time. And I showed up differently. I showed up differently and what’s so fascinating is I kept sitting with like, okay, now what else does that version of me do? And I was like, well, that version of me goes out and meets people, connects with people. And also, you know, at the time when I was doing sales calls, you know, I was selling these big packages and, you know, selling like $5,000, $10,000 packages, a thousand dollar packages. And so when I was getting on these sales calls, I know for me, like I had to fully let go of my expectation or my need for them to pay me.
Kristen Boss (13:32): So I came to every call, like, I’m just going to serve these clients. And the best way I know how a lot of people are going to say no, and I’m okay. And so there, I was selling this, you know, high ticket, high ticket offer and, you know, sitting with my, what I called my 200 K self, like the self that makes that a year. And so when I came to these sales calls, I came as that version of myself and I thought, okay, the person who makes consistently 20K a month, how does she handle someone saying no? How does she handle a sales call going sideways? How does she handle someone saying, no, I’m not ready to join you today, but thank you. How does she handle that? I’m like, oh, well, she takes it in stride because she knows the money’s coming in.
Kristen Boss (14:20): Like, she’s just not worried. She makes 20K a month why she knows that she’s okay. And she’ll, she handles these calls with grace. So what was interesting is I was able to let go of all of my need and all of my scarcity when I was coming to these calls and I was able to be fully present with a client. And I was like, okay, I’m I was there as my future self. I was meeting the client exactly where they were and my brain was quiet, meaning my brain wasn’t chattering in the background while I was serving someone, my brain, wasn’t like, we better close this sale. We need this offer. We need this client, we need this. If we’re going to hit our goals, we need this. If we’re going to do that. And if you, and if you don’t do it that, you know, there’s something wrong with you.
Kristen Boss (15:00): Like my brain was so quiet and I was able to be fully present with the person I was serving at the time, because I was on that call as my future self. And I was embodying that and I was living that. And so, and I remember as I was like, as I kept having success, like soon, like the result, the results did show up in that way. And I was like, okay, this is working. And every single milestone, every single new milestone in my business, I sat with like, okay, how does that version of me show up in the world? And I remember my bestie and I, Samantha and I, we went to the St. Regis, I think it was the St. Regis in Aspen. And we went there together for, and we were there for a business event and it was my first time ever having a five star experience.
Kristen Boss (15:49): And I remember feeling very triggered, feeling, very like, oh my gosh, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I was like, I think the Kardashians stayed at this place. And I remember at that point I had surpassed my first goal and I was sitting with a new future vision, a new goal. And I remember going to the hotel, I’m like, okay, but what does you know? I think it was at that point, I think I was working on my millionaire future self I’m like, okay, the future self that makes a million dollars a year, how does she walk into this hotel? How does she handle, you know, investment? How does she do those things? And that was when I had joined a big, you know, high ticket mastermind. And I kept sitting with like, oh, every time I felt uncomfortable, I realized it was because my current version of myself was feeling uncomfortable because I was like, oh, this is growth.
Kristen Boss (16:38): I’m going to grow into this. I’m going to give myself permission to order room service. And I was so triggered you guys. I thought it was just so crazy. And it was so funny. Like, Samantha. We still laugh about this. Like I packed a milk frother because I wanted, I was like, oh, I really want like frost milk with my coffee. And I packed a milk frother, not realizing that a five star hotel, the St. Regis, they can bring you frost milk whenever you wanted. But there, I was like living in these two realities, re still remembering what it felt like to deeply struggle, what it felt like to, you know, feel like my feeling so financially insecure to now being in this place where I’m in a five star hotel, I’m trying to figure out this new reality. I still packed a milk frother because I, you know, didn’t know that they would pick that they would bring the frothed milk.
Kristen Boss (17:29): But I just remember like we were ordering room service. And I remember like, my inner self was like, screaming. Like, this is, this is too much. I can’t do this. This is very indulgent. And I remember like, okay, I’m going to be with that part of myself, because I think that’s still like the scarce, Kristen, that’s speaking up in this moment and I’m was like, okay, now what would future Kristen do in this moment? How would she view room service? How would she view this experience? How would she view this business event? How would she view those things? And it helped inform, listen when you sit with your future self, it helps inform, inform your present actions. And when you’re taking actions that align with your future self, eventually your future self becomes your present self. I know that sounds crazy, but that is what happened over and over and over and over again for me.
Kristen Boss (18:19): And it helped become a filter for all decisions in my business. So when it came for me, it, when it came time for me to hire someone to come and work for me in my business, when I hired my first virtual assistant, and she was like $50 an hour and she was, she was amazing. And I was like, okay. And I remember feeling like a little scarce around that being like, wow, I’m going to be paying this person, like, you know, up to $2,000 a month. And I just remember feeling a little scarce, feeling, a little worried, a little anxious. And then I was like, okay, but let’s just go visit my future business and my future self. What does my future self have to say about this decision? I’m like, oh, this person, the future version of me doesn’t even bat an eyelash.
Kristen Boss (19:03): She hires this person. She also knows that money is coming in. She understands the value of outsourcing understands the value of delegation. So of course she’s going to do that. And what was interesting is for me, like some of you might think like there’s investments of like investing with a coach, investing in a program, investing in an ongoing education, but then there’s the investment going into your business, investing in your company. And for me, I’ve had to really grow my investment muscle with my company. It started with a virtual assistant and then it was a, you know, a podcast producer. And then for a while, I think it was just those two for, for quite some time. And then as the company grew, we’re like, oh, we need another virtual assistant. We need a program manager. We need support coaches. We need those things. I need a web designer.
Kristen Boss (19:48): I need a videographer. I need an ads team. I need an ads consultant. And I just kept growing my company understanding, okay. In order for me to get where I’m going, I do need to, I do need to outsource. I need, do need to outsource. I need to hire people. And, you know, I kept again, I kept bringing my future self into my present and asking myself, well, what is the, the future version of me do in this moment? What would they think about in this moment? And it’s amazing the quality of decisions you will make with your actions when you are constantly bringing your future self into the present moment. And it’s, it’s been crazy. I’m telling you like this might be one of the best exercises that you can do now for you. You might be like, Kristen, I can’t wrap my mind around 200 K in fact, that feels very maybe that’s a very triggering number for you.
Kristen Boss (20:42): Maybe that doesn’t feel safe for you. And I do think at some point I am going to be doing like a money mindset masterclass because it is hands down. The number one thing I’m asked all the time from people from many different walks of life. And for me, it was like one of the biggest areas that I had to heal was my money mindset before I even started out. So it could be very easy to hear my story and think, well, of course your money mindset is great because you know, your company does so well now. But truthfully in the beginning, you guys, my mindset, it was, I had to overcome that early. In fact, I think I did two years of money mindset work before I charged my first dime as a coach and think I’m so glad I did that work. So I’ll probably talk about that in the future.
Kristen Boss (21:29): So maybe for you 200 K feels very triggering. It feels unsafe. It feels like morally wrong. You don’t feel safe to make that in the world. Maybe you feel like you’re going to lose relationships, that version of you. So, you know, instead of like getting triggered to death where you’re not even taking any action, I want you to sit with a goal that feels like, okay, I’m, I’m triggered. It would stretch me. So maybe for you, it’s thinking of like making 50,000 a year with your online business, maybe for you that you’re like, oh my gosh, that would be like extraordinary money for me. That would be life changing money for my family. I just want you to you to discover that for yourself. Like, what is it for you? What is your goal? According to your family, your lifestyle, the future you want to create for your kids.
Kristen Boss (22:20): And maybe some of you you’re like, I have never given myself permission to dream past, you know, 50 K a year, because you might be thinking like that’s appropriate. That’s acceptable. You know? I won’t lose relationships at that. And we can, again, I feel like that topic in and of itself is a whole nother podcast. I could do a training just on that. In fact, I might. So again, just sitting with like, okay, so for you, it might be like, or it might be 20,000 a year in your network marketing business. It might be 50,000 a year, your first year as a coach being like, wow, that would be amazing. So sitting with that version of you, like that version of me, who’s making X dollars a year, who’s serving this many clients or who has a team, that’s this big, how do they think about this circumstance in this present moment?
Kristen Boss (23:11): Because when you’re acting from your present self over and over again, your presence stays the same because you’re responding as that version of you. So for example, if you’re making a thousand dollars a month and you want to be making $5,000 a month, and every time you come across a problem, you have to make a decision and you keep making decisions and taking actions from your thousand dollars a month, self concept or way of thinking, then you’re going to keep making a thousand dollars a month because your actions are aligned with that identity. But if you were sitting with like, okay, but what does the person who’s making $5,000 a month, the person, how, how would they think about this? How would they approach this problem? What solution might they come up with? How would they approach this? How would they talk about this? Suddenly you are responding differently than you would have.
Kristen Boss (24:02): If you, when you were thinking about it from your current self, this is why really getting intimate with your future self is vital. Some of you’re you’re just so in touch with your present self and living in the present that you’re like future self what’s that, but I’m telling you guys, I do this all the time. And I, I just did this recently. I had a V IP day with one of my mentors and he’s just, he’s great. And we did probably this three hour long, three hours really sitting with my future self. And it was emotional. Like it was so emotional to get to know that version of me and to sit in a room like it was like, my visualization was so intense that I had an emotional response to it. And I was sitting, I felt like I was sitting in a room with my future self.
Kristen Boss (24:57): And I don’t know how much older that future self was, but I was sitting with that future self and how she was showing up in the world. I, you guys, I could even tell you what she was wearing, what, what she looked like, how she was moving around in the world, what her social media platforms looked like, what her content looked like. And I was like, oh, and I sat with that version of myself for three hours until it felt inevitable. I’m like, I not only see her, I know her, I love her. And I’m going to invite her into my present now. And she’s going to help me start making some decisions. If you do this in your business, if you, even, if you do this in any area of your life, honestly do it in your marriage, do it in your friendships. I want you to think of like, okay, the most happy, vibrant, alive, joyful, grateful version of me, the person who is in love with her life, even if the circumstances never change, how does she show up the person who’s in love with her life?
Kristen Boss (25:57): My most vibrant self? How does she show up in, in their relationships, in their friendships, in, you know, in my friend groups, to my workout routines, to in my home, that, that version of me, right? It’s again, it’s allowing your future self to inform your present decisions instead of your present self, continuing to make your present decisions, and staying there. Do you see what I’m talking about? This exercise of getting intimate with your future self will completely change your life if you do it. And maybe some of you are like living in the reality that you wanted for a long time. And this happens with, this happens with a lot of people. Like they will set out a goal and they’ll reach the goal, and then suddenly they just stay there. And oftentimes it’s because they need to cast a new vision for the next goal.
Kristen Boss (26:49): They need to birth a new why, and they need to burst, you know, burst through some, some limitations they have about feeling safe to have more this. I say this a lot with six-figure earners that like a lot of people do get to six figures and they say now more than ever in today’s day and age, it’s easier than ever to, you know, hit six figures. And just like, let that soak in today for you. Instead of like, it’s impossible for me, just let it soak in. Like I’m in, I’m living in a day and age when it’s more possible than ever. Like, just soak that in for a second. But what happens is I see a lot of people get stuck there because they created the goal. They get there and then they kind of settle into it instead of challenging themselves, like, okay, can I allow myself to have more?
Kristen Boss (27:36): Or they hit their first why? And they haven’t birthed a new why. And this happens in my mastermind. A lot of times, people in my mastermind, we have to help them find a new why, because they already achieved their first. Why? Like a lot of them were like, okay, I wanted to retire my husband or I wanted to quit my nine to five. And I wanted to this to be my full-time thing. They get to six figures. So their original goal is there. And then it’s like, they need to get innovative and imaginative and allow themselves to feel safe, to have another goal. And it’s, and it’s so fascinating. The stories that people have when it comes to going for more. So friends, I just want to encourage you take some time today, get out of a sheet of paper. And I want you to sit with your future self, the self that’s making, you know, you decide, put it down on the top of the paper.
Kristen Boss (28:25): And I want you to ask yourself questions about that version of you. How do they show up? How do they solve problems? How does this person write content? How does this person handle nos? How does this person handle rejection? How does this person handle defeat in their business? How does this person handle haters? How does this person show up in their relationships, their friendships? How does this person problem solve, do this? And I don’t care where you have to tape up that paper, but put it up somewhere where you see it so that when you are in a moment that feels hard, that feels challenging. You look at that paper and say, and invite your future self into that, into that conversation and into that decision and saying, okay, I know what this current version of me wants to do, but I’m going to sit with my future self and see if my decisions might look different when I’m viewing it through the lens of my future self. I guarantee you at 100%, well, I hope you have fun doing this exercise because it is worth it. And it’s, it truly is one of the most transformative habits I have in my business that I still continue to do to this day. All right, friends serve. Well, see you next episode,
Kristen Boss (29:34): That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or have been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.